The Life of Marvin
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Eulogies
Michael's Eulogy
Gracias por escuchar esto en ingles.
To all of you in the audience, for which spanish is your first language, thank you for listening to this in English.
My name is Michael Reyes. Marvin Vladimir Salazar was my best friend growing up.
Our parents meet before we were born, right next door actually, at Centro Presente, an organization focused on advocating for immigrant rights. Our parents immigrated to this country in the 80’s to escape a dangerous civil war in their home land. They wound up growing quite close at their time in this organization.
Ever since I was born I remember being around Mavin and his family. We would all make frequent trips over to Lake cochichuate and water country with some other families. Grilling Carne Asada picnic style, putting up hammocks and just enjoying the company. I think it reminded our parents of their home.
Marvin and I would eventually ended up at the same elementary school, the Somerville Charter School.
At about that same time our parents organized for us to be on the same youth soccer team that his dad coached. Man we were so bad, honestly probably the worst organized team I was ever a part of. Nelson, that wasn't your fault. But damn we had so much fun on that team.
We would hang out all the time, playing video games, talking about girls or eating his favorite food after school. Pasta with some kind of red meat sauce of course. That really started a trend for us. We used to play Pro Evolution Soccer for hours on the original Xbox, this was even before FIFA came out.
Eventually when our parents would yell at us to get out of the house, we would go biking around the city. Sometimes to the Foss Park pool, But usually we would find ourselves going to Capuano or Danahey park. Typically just getting together with some of our other friends. There was nothing like just getting to kicking the ball around. We both wanted to be so much better then we were, when we were on that team his dad coached.
I’m glad to share that it paid off, because we ended up having some glory days on the soccer field in high school. Just before we started High School however, Marvin transferred schools. He went over to a rival school, the Community Charter School of Cambridge or CCSC. After a few years I was able to convince him to come back with me. Actually let's be honest, it wasn’t me it was a special girl that convinced him. Nevertheless he came back to the highschool I was at, which had since been renamed to PHA - Prospect Hill Academy Charter School.
High School was great, we had even more freedom, didn't have to do everything with our parents anymore. We would often Bike to School when the weather was nice.
Speaking of biking around, one of our favorite things to do was sneak out in the middle of the night. Sorry parents. We both always had a hard time falling asleep. And before we were able to drive we would take our bikes and just go. Usually to the 24/7 Micky D’s in twin city plaza. The first few times didn’t work too great as we came to find out you’d need a car to set off the sensors so the the staff knew someone was in the drive through. Eventually they came to know of us really well and never gave us a hard time about it.
When we got a little older we traded in the bikes for Longboards. Marvin taught me how to ride his and I jumped on the chance to get one of my own. I used that thing for years to get around the city up until the last few years when I was able to get a car for myself. Carving up hills and garages in the area any time we could. Just commuting from here to there. That's how we learned and we got really good.
If we needed a break from the fast food we would find rooftops of buildings in the area. There were a few that we would go to regularly. There was something so peaceful about the stars in the middle of the night for a couple of kids just trying to figure stuff out, trying to get away from the chaos of life for a bit.
Marvin always looked out for me those years. He was with with me when i got my first kiss, actually he was responsible for it. Truth or dare, a classic game in those teenage years.
Oh, and those glory years on the soccer field. I remember everyone from those teams. We had so much talent, more than any other team in the league. There was a 3 year stretch that we dominated everyone we played. I’m talking american football scores, with double digit goals and shut outs every game. But for some reason we came up short a few years in a row in the championship game. My final game in a PHA uniform we did it though, we were able to bring that championship home. Marvin and I became champions together. To this day our whole team still laughs about us all having nightmares hearing Coach Spencer yell at us to do more suicides. We never said it, but thanks thanks for pushing us that hard. It made us all better on and off the field.
About halfway through my senior year of highschool my family lost our home. Marvin and his family invited me in, to stay with them while I finished my last year of high school. They wanted me to have some stability while i tried to finish up school. I will never be able to repay that debt, the kindness of you to be able to look out for me like that. I’m not sure I ever thanked your Mom and family enough for that sacrifice either. Thank you.
When we got older and he learned how to drive, we ditched the bikes & longboards and would just drive. Often times nowhere in particular, we would just borrow our parents car and go. Again, sorry parents. Just blast some tunes and go. We would head out west to check out a haunted forests, up north to New Hampshire. It didn't matter where we ended up really. It was always about the ride for us.
After highschool I wound up going to college in California. As a broke kid from Boston on a private college campus it was a hard transition for me. Marvin knew I was having a tough time, so he came out for a week. Two kids from Somerville thinking we were doing it big in Cali. Man life was good that week.
After Cali I found myself back in Boston, living with my family and in need of a job. Marvin got me my first job, connecting me with the people with whom I’ve been able to create a career a few years later.
He was always looking out for people, especially in this way. Over the past decade he had worked at dozens of places in and around the city forming many connections and relationships. Always using those connections to help people meet each other, whether it was for a job or just to get to know some new friends. When he got me that first job, those were fun times on the roofdeck of legal harborside. He taught me how to work and we would crush it up there. We would grind every week, sometimes working till the sun came up. Then we’d longboard to somerville at 5 am crash at his dad’s house and repeat the next day and the next till we had a day off. It was around this time he got into teaching himself how to play guitar. Just messing around on chords, nothing too crazy. But Marvin was always looking for the next thing to learn. The next thing to teach himself.
When we both were able to save enough money we both moved out from our homes, and got our first apartment together with our friend Ismael. Those were some good times, finally being on our own. One of my favorite memories was during the world cup that year setting up 4 tv’s in our living room, just so we could catch every game that was going on live. We couldn't miss a moment.
I can't remember how many soccer games we got to watch together. Wheather it was those world cups games in our apartment, or champion league games after highschool or premier league games on sunday mornings after a sleepover when we were younger. Everyone who knew Marvin knew his love for the game. Knew his love for Barcelona & in particular Lionel Messi. I mean he got them tattooed on himself.
For me I think two of his greatest gifts were making us laugh, and bringing people together. Over the years I can't count the number of times his wit and charisma had the whole room cracking up over just about anything. There was this aura about him that took over a room. It lightened the mood and let everyone breathe a little easier. No matter the situation if Marvin was there we all knew things would be kept at ease.
It seams fitting then, that the last thing Marvin will do for us is bring us all together one last time in his name.
Ya know, Someone once told me something about death that really stuck with me. They said our memories with those who have passed, we get to hold on to those forever. Death just means that tragically we don't get to create any new ones. But that doesn't have to take away from any of the old memories.
The truth for me is Marvin was supposed to be the best man at my wedding someday, It just didn't work out like that. He left us too far too soon, he had so much more life to live. We all have things we wish we got a chance to do with him and I know we are all still hurting.
I encourage everyone to do the work and continue to heal and mourn in the way that's most useful for you. Marvin wouldn't want any of us feeling sorry for him for too long.
For Marvin, he always lived his life as an adventure. I’ve found myself the last few weeks constantly having to remind myself that Marvin was doing what he wanted to do, what he loved. He was traveling the world bartending. He would always talk about finding a way to do that. We need to be happy for him for that. I'm happy for him. I ask that we all use his drive to inspire us to reach for whatever it is that we want in our own lives. However crazy how every impossible it seems. Go after it and do it in Marvin's Name.
The last thing I want to say is thank you. Thank you to all of you. Over the last few weeks the amount of support this community has shown to Marvin and his family is unbelievable. It's so evident just how many people he touched and how many people loved him and were rooting him on. You being here, in addition to everything else you have all have done over the last few weeks can't be understated. Works can’t thank you enough.
Marvin i'll always love you brother, may you rest in peace.
Thank you for listening to me.
Sergio's Eulogy
I have a pretty good idea of how Marvin would want his service to happen. If you guys aren’t drinking and having a good time then you’re doing it wrong.
There should probably be some music playing too. Preferably Queen. Either Bohemian Rhapsody or I want to Break Free. Marvin worked bartending in Mexico and his first night there, Bohemian Rhapsody was playing. Everyone started singing and right when the song reaches its climax, he took off his shirt and dove straight into a cenote in the restaurant. For those of you who don’t know what a cenote is, it’s a natural underwater cave formation.
In Zanzibar, our last day working for our company, we put on Bohemian Rhapsody and again, when the song reached its climax, he took off his shirt and dove straight through our bar, into the pool we were serving for. Yes, we were working in a pool bar while we were in Africa, and let me tell you, the main bar window we served out of was pretty small and low.
The most amazing thing about working at this bar wasn’t the people we met, and there were many incredible people. It wasn’t the great work we were doing. It was that one night Marvin was in Costa Rica floating on his back in a pool watching a lighting storm when he had an idea: “I want to open up a pool bar.” He had a concept in mind and he wanted to make it happen. Not long after, the same man that had employed Marvin to bartend in Mexico, calls him and says, “I’m doing a pop up event at a pool bar in Zanzibar. Do you want to come work for me?”
Two things should now become apparent for all you.
First of all, it’s amazing that Marvin hadn’t died sooner.
And secondly, Marvin had a mysterious way of making everything he wanted appear out of nowhere. That man could and did everything he wanted. Nothing was impossible for him. And he told me, shortly before we set out for Zanzibar: “Sergio, I need you to understand that anything is possible. I can do anything I want to in the world and I want you to know that you can too.” He was always trying to teach me. Not just about bartending or cooking, but about life too, because he knew about it all.
The last day we spent together we were sitting by the pool where we worked. It was his day off and we had just gone swimming in the ocean. We’re talking and he says something to me. I don’t remember what it was but it was something that made me stop and look at him in amazement and say “Marvin, I really want to meet your father.” I hadn’t met Nelson before. I was thinking that if Marvin could be this incredible, it had to come from somewhere.
But Marvin replied “no, I don’t want you to meet him because then you will see why I am the way that I am. That, and it would be intimidating for you. My father knows everything about everything.”
So I look at Marvin and I say “but I like smart people.” And he turns to me and says “yes i know, that’s why me and you are friends.”
And then he turned away and dove into the pool. I’ll never forget that moment. I’ll never forget his confidence or the love and respect that he had not just for his father but his family too. And Marvin’s family was quite big. It wasn’t just the people that were related to him by blood. It was every single one of his friends. It was every person in this room that has come to honor his memory. Because he treated everyone he knew like his family. But never at any point during that conversation would I have imagined that I would be meeting his father in Zanzibar because his son, my brother, would pass away that night. Never, never, never.
And it should not have been that way. I want nothing more than to go back to that moment and kiss face and hold him and never let him go because I know how the rest of the night will play out. I know that the next morning he won’t be there anymore. And I won’t get laugh with him again, or talk to him, or sit with him and listen to music while we scheme and plot about how we’ll live together when we go back to Boston and start our own business ventures together. I won’t get to look at his face again or stand in awe about the next amazing stunt he pulled.
To say I miss him doesn’t do justice to the large empty space that he left in my heart when he went for a swim that night and never came back. But I know it’s not just me that feels this way. I know so many people miss him. And he would say “Sergio, stop being a little bitch, you don’t need me.”
And he’s right. For those of you who grieve today and for those of you that have been grieving: the empty space and heartache that came when Marvin left should be filled with his memory. It should be filled with love for someone great. It’s filled with the warmth that he gave all of us. And he had a lot of warmth and caring to give. Marvin once told me that the most important part of a bartender wasn’t making good drinks. It was about making people smile. That’s why he was amazing not just as a bartender, but as a human being. You can’t count all the smiles that he put on people’s faces. They are as many as the stars in the sky. He would go above and beyond to see the people around him happy and smiling, even if he wasn’t.
Marvin showed me a lot of things throughout the time I knew him. He was a teacher. He was always teaching us. One of our first nights in Zanzibar we went to the beach and he said “let’s go swim in the ocean.” I was hesitant, and he went in without me. Not even a minute later he yells out to me and says “Sergio you need to get in the water, you need to see this!”
I still wasn’t moving. “Sergio come on, you really need to get in the water! Just for a minute I have to show you this!” Finally I get up and start making my way into water.
“Look Sergio!” And he starts moving his hands beneath the surface. What I saw at that moment was beautiful. The water was lighting up every time we moved in it. It was bioluminescent. We stood there in the night surrounded by the light of the stars and the light coming from the ocean. His daring spirit always led him to better things.
I’m thankful that he let me come along for his ride too because I saw and learned so much. And that’s how I want to remember him. In that moment. Smiling and surrounded by the light. The light of the moon and the water and the light of the countless stars over Zanzibar.
The same stars he is with now.
Letter to my son Marvin
Tus hijos no son tus hijos.
Tus hijos no son tus hijos, son hijos e hijas de la vida deseosa de sí misma.
No vienen de ti, sino a través de ti, y aunque estén contigo, no te pertenecen.
Puedes darles tu amor, pero no tus pensamientos, pues, ellos tienen sus propios pensamientos.
Puedes abrigar sus cuerpos, pero no sus almas, porque ellas viven en la casa de mañana, que no puedes visitar, ni siquiera en sueños.
Puedes esforzarte en ser como ellos, pero no procures hacerlos semejantes a ti porque la vida no retrocede ni se detiene en el ayer.
Tú eres el arco del cual tus hijos, como flechas vivas son lanzados.
Deja que la inclinación, en tu mano de arquero sea para la felicidad
Pues aunque Él ama la flecha que vuela, Ama de igual modo al arco estable.
-Khalil Gibran
Marvin, I remember clearly that Wednesday night when your sister Bianca and mom Margarita showed up at the door of the classroom looking for me. Margarita had just visited the doctor and was told to go immediately to the hospital because her water had broken and there was a concern regarding your birth.
We dropped Bianca at our friend Cecy’s house and off we went to the hospital. After a while, we were told that you were not ready to come into this world. They asked us to come back Thursday morning. The following morning, we headed to the hospital, checked in and they started giving medication to your mom to induce you.
It was around 11:00 on Thursday, February 27th, that you were born.
Since then the four of us had good times and hard times. Your sister was so happy when you came home. As usual, sibling rivalry was always there. I remember you quietly playing with your trucks. You were so quiet that often we forgot that you were around us. Or did not know where you were.
Like me when I came to this country, you decided to work in the food industry. You were in high school when you started working at Summer Shack and from there it was hard to keep up with the places where you were working. If I have the right information, I believe that you worked in about 15 restaurants. I was able to go to most of those restaurants and every time when the servers, manager or owner knew I was your father, they all said wonderful things about you. It made me very proud. I was always amazed by the fact that after you left a restaurant, all of a sudden you were already working in another one.
Last year I remember you telling me that you were going to Costa Rica for a month. In June you told me that you were leaving the restaurant where you were working and I said “But you still have weeks before you go to Costa Rica.” “I know” you said. “What are you going to be doing in between?” I asked. “I don’t know yet” you responded. Then suddenly you were telling me that you were heading down to Tulum, Mexico to work for three weeks.
I was surprised to hear the news. Then you explained about the Mulberry Pop Up project. I was very happy for you.
You came back from Mexico and in about a week, off you went to Costa Rica with your friend Pappi. Thanks to technology we were able to keep in touch. I loved getting pictures. Not sure if you knew that by sending me those pictures I was traveling with you.
When you came back, you were unemployed, but then all of a sudden there you were in training to open a brand new restaurant, Alcove.
Not long after that, you contacted me very happy that you had been recruited to go to Zanzibar, Tanzania to work with the Mulberry Project for three months.
For a moment I was hesitant about the news, but I wanted you to explore the world in any way you could. So off you went.
Marvin, I know you were having lots of fun in Zanzibar. Every time we talked or texted I could tell how happy you were. I remember the first photo you sent. It was a picture of Karibou, Zanzibar. “We arrived” you said.
The month of January was a hard one for you. Losing your friends from Summer Shack and Cafe Art and Science, Diana’s father, your cousin Roberto and then your Tia Tomasa in a month and a half, as we talked I knew it was hard for you. I wished I was there to provide you comfort. “Thank you dad” you said after a long conversation we had about losing friends.
The last photo you sent me, you were riding a motorbike “$16 for 24 hours. I haven’t gotten pulled over either, so I’m doing well!!!” you wrote. it was the last text that I was going to get from you. From now on Marvin, nobody will be pulling you over. Clearly you did and will continue doing well, wherever you are.
It was a Wednesday evening that your mom Margarita and your sister Bianca came looking for me so we could go to the hospital. It was a Thursday AM when you were born. It was a Wednesday evening that your sister Bianca came to deliver the news. It was a Thursday AM that you passed away.
I miss getting your texts, your calls, and your photos. I love you son. You will always be in our hearts.
- Nelson Salazar
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite.
And He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hands be for happiness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves the bow that is stable.
- Khalil Gibran
